For You

You know I love you & I miss you & that I wish it did not have to be this way.

I wish there were other choices. Options. Alternatives. A box labeled "Other" that I could check. A freezer where I could store my heart until I needed it to feel again. To stop the inconvenient beating, and the tears, all the tears it sends through my eyes out onto my cheeks.

I knew the phone wasn't going to ring tonight, and I realized it would be the first night in about four months that I would not be talking to you. It was hard to bear knowing that it will be that way every night from now on. (It doesn't matter that we might speak again as friends, it will never be the same).

I guess I will have to get used to your absence.

I have no idea how though.

This will probably be my last post here for a while, since you have found this place, and I can't just spill my thoughts here anymore.

Please take care of yourself.