"I'm just a boy with a new haircut & that's a pretty nice haircut"
I heat up slowly, simmering for long stretches of time, and then suddenly: I boil! I'll think about doing something forever, but then, in one impulsive moment, in one fell swoop, I suddenly do something drastic and radical!
I have had long hair down to my waist for years (and lately, it was getting even lower). I have been thinking about cutting it for years. I have not been able to go near a hairdresser because they always mess my hair up, which may be part of why I've been so afraid to get it cut, and avoid hairstylists like the plague.
However, lately, my hair has been getting to me, and I've been getting more motivated to cut it. It's heavy, thick, curly and wavy. My scalp hurts when I put it in a bun cos there's too much hair. My head hurts when I have a ponytail in too long. It gets tangled. I would look like a bogus whitey rastafarian after a few days if I don't attend to the knots and how my hair wants to twist up and weave itself into dreads of it's own volition. Not to mention how damn hot my hair has been all summer long. I really should have gotten it cut at the first sign of summer. But I balked.
So, lately, to try to ease myself into the hairdressers chair, I've been trimming my hair. I got rid of some scraggly ends last week, and then tonight, I decided to do another trim. But something happened.
I kept cutting...& cutting...& cutting...
My hair is A LOT shorter now. I wish I had known I was going to lop off so much, I would have been able to give to locks of love, which I really wanted to do. I cut it too gradually though. This was like the snowball version of the haircut. It gathered steam and kept going once it started! My hair is very subtly layered, and curly now, and falls to the middle of my back. I cut about a foot of hair off!
I do have to say one thing, I looked in the mirror afterwards and I said to my reflection: "You're a genius!"
Yes, I know, it may seem hyperbolic, but I kid you not, I'm freaking foxy right now. I mean, really, I'm so damn cute! This is Ms. Low Self-Esteem talking, so, really, it's a miracle. w00t!
I keep running my hands through it because it feels like silk, and flipping my hair back and forth, because it's so light now.
My exterior is the least of it, this isn't just an outer transformation; I feel like I broke with the past tonight. I am ready to start a new chapter. The title is "Lightening Up". I cleaned up and dealt with clutter in my apartment today (it's not done but progress was made) then I cut my hair, and the thing I want to try tackling next is losing weight. I feel like something is propelling me forward. A sense of urgency. No time to waste. It may be the state of the world, but it's moreso the state of my life, which needs to move on to a higher level. It's time for me to dump any excess baggage so I can sail forth into my future unencumbered. I've been carrying so much, in so many senses, and it's just time to lighten my load, and get rid of the burdens that cause me so much pain, and limit me in so many ways. I don't feel like I just cut my hair, I feel like I am declaring a statement to myself that says: "New days are here, new times are coming, new experiences, new phases, new levels, new chapters, and you are no longer the same person you were, the time has come to become who you were always meant to be, and in order to do so, you've gotta shed some skin".
Wave Hello, Say Goodbye
I have had long hair down to my waist for years (and lately, it was getting even lower). I have been thinking about cutting it for years. I have not been able to go near a hairdresser because they always mess my hair up, which may be part of why I've been so afraid to get it cut, and avoid hairstylists like the plague.
However, lately, my hair has been getting to me, and I've been getting more motivated to cut it. It's heavy, thick, curly and wavy. My scalp hurts when I put it in a bun cos there's too much hair. My head hurts when I have a ponytail in too long. It gets tangled. I would look like a bogus whitey rastafarian after a few days if I don't attend to the knots and how my hair wants to twist up and weave itself into dreads of it's own volition. Not to mention how damn hot my hair has been all summer long. I really should have gotten it cut at the first sign of summer. But I balked.
So, lately, to try to ease myself into the hairdressers chair, I've been trimming my hair. I got rid of some scraggly ends last week, and then tonight, I decided to do another trim. But something happened.
I kept cutting...& cutting...& cutting...
My hair is A LOT shorter now. I wish I had known I was going to lop off so much, I would have been able to give to locks of love, which I really wanted to do. I cut it too gradually though. This was like the snowball version of the haircut. It gathered steam and kept going once it started! My hair is very subtly layered, and curly now, and falls to the middle of my back. I cut about a foot of hair off!
I do have to say one thing, I looked in the mirror afterwards and I said to my reflection: "You're a genius!"
Yes, I know, it may seem hyperbolic, but I kid you not, I'm freaking foxy right now. I mean, really, I'm so damn cute! This is Ms. Low Self-Esteem talking, so, really, it's a miracle. w00t!
I keep running my hands through it because it feels like silk, and flipping my hair back and forth, because it's so light now.
I went out after I was done with my hair to buy some milk for my morning coffee tomorrow, and to pick up something to eat at a drive-thru, and the proof is in the pudding -- I got called "Miss"! Fucking A! I always hate it when they call me "M'aam" and I think my hair must have made me look older, despite that people I meet always guess my age to be ten years younger. It's the shopkeepers and such with the "M'aam" stuff that was killing me, so, yea, I must have some vanity because I was pysched to go back to "Miss". I drove away while doing the arm pump thing with a fist in the air saying: "YES!" out loud to no one in my car by myself. Yep, I'm a dork.
My exterior is the least of it, this isn't just an outer transformation; I feel like I broke with the past tonight. I am ready to start a new chapter. The title is "Lightening Up". I cleaned up and dealt with clutter in my apartment today (it's not done but progress was made) then I cut my hair, and the thing I want to try tackling next is losing weight. I feel like something is propelling me forward. A sense of urgency. No time to waste. It may be the state of the world, but it's moreso the state of my life, which needs to move on to a higher level. It's time for me to dump any excess baggage so I can sail forth into my future unencumbered. I've been carrying so much, in so many senses, and it's just time to lighten my load, and get rid of the burdens that cause me so much pain, and limit me in so many ways. I don't feel like I just cut my hair, I feel like I am declaring a statement to myself that says: "New days are here, new times are coming, new experiences, new phases, new levels, new chapters, and you are no longer the same person you were, the time has come to become who you were always meant to be, and in order to do so, you've gotta shed some skin".
Wave Hello, Say Goodbye
posted by scribe at 9/03/2005
<< Home